Young love in a cyber age...this is what's been on my mind this week. Watching T and her sweetie in their relationship, noticing the changes that time has made on young love and remembering some of the things that remain unchanged as time marched on.
I think back to when I was 16, and I was totally and completely in love. I remember what it felt like, and the urgency that surrounded everything that had to do with being in that relationship. I know that things have not changed that much, that the feelings are similar, and that I did as T does, planned my day around being next to the object of my affection, the rest of the world be damned. So...as frustrating as it is for me as a parent, reminding her about homework, telling her to get off the phone, and supervising their time together, I really do understand what it is like to be in love.
Back in the day...in the late 80's for example...if you were "going" with someone...you hung out at the mall, or the community centre. Sometimes with your boyfriend...sometimes with your friends, watching him. (Stalking in its form today was not really a big deal back then!) Maybe if you were fortunate, like me, you would sneak your friends into the house when your parents weren't home. You made a mixed tape for your crush, and you spent hours on the phone talking to him, and talking to your friends about him.
Technology has made some drastic changes...the internet has certainly made having a relationship different. Today kids sign onto MSN or Facebook and cyber-chat - without hearing a voice. Words have been replaced by letters inticating words - laugh out loud is now LOL - and physical connection has been replaced by web-cam. T spends her time with her boyfriend via the net...on web-cam. It's truly bizarre to me...she was sitting on the couch beside me, with her computer in front of her. I thought she was chatting online and surfing the net...only to find that the web-cam was on. Her boyfriend could see and hear everything going on in our living room...kinds creepy in a Big Brother is watching kind of way!
They actually spend hours joined together via web-cam...which would be fine if that was the only way they were joined. But surprisingly enough, we still have to watch the kids when they are together, as teen-age pregnancy and STD's are still as real as back in my teen years. I trust my kids and know that they are smart and very aware of the dangers that face them. I have been upfront and honest about the challenges that I faced in my decision to have children young, and I know that they are armed with the facts. And when they look this happy together...who can come between that?
